When it comes to keeping children in check and discipline, where should the line be drawn? 

I grew up never having been spanked but my brothers have received my father's belt across their bare butts when they were bad. My punishment was usually no TV, crafts, toys, etc. but because my brothers were more mischevious and got into more trouble than I did, they got the belt. It was not hard enough to make them bleed and it didn't happen often but when it did, they did not misbehave for a long time. 

I do not have children yet so I don't know where my line is drawn but I do feel parents should never forcefully injury a child to the point of drawing blood or leaving bruises. 


Most abuses to children are done usually when the parent is angry. The person cannot control his actions when that person is angry. I have 2 sons and I use the belt when they reached 3 or more warnings that I gave them and they still did not obey. However, I only use the belt when I am cool-headed as I don't like to hurt my children. I spank not to punish them, but to let them remember that what they have done will eventually hurt them in the process sooner or later. Also, never use the buckle of the belt to spank children, but only the tip.


I don't think it is right to speak of abuse when a parent, in a moment of complete anger, slaps the kid. I don't have kids of my own, but I was in a relationship which had kids included. It worked out quite well, usually, but there has been a time when I -in a reflex- slapped one of them. The result was that they looked at me in surprise, and I felt bad about it for days.... (while the kid involved was all happy again and was seeking my attention in a positive way again). No bruises or anything, lol... 

These things happen, and I think nobody can escape this happening at some point.

However, I did learn from their mother that looking the kid in the eye and talking to them in a certain fashion may actually be most effective. 


Over time I started to develop a kind of preventive discipline.

At first I spanked my children after some warnings because they passed over the "line". Then I tought, "why in first place allow them go that far?" From then, no more warnings or threaths, no more spanking, no more abuse, no yell, I teach to do things, be good, obey.

All has to be in a serious neutral way, no angry. So I keep the control and authority.

If when you speak are ignored and have to yell to be listened you have not real authority.

If you have to spank your children, then they will not obey anymore when they cant be spanked.

Many parents dont set rules, then the kid do something wrong and the parent yell and hit. Set reules first, so the kid is aware of good and bad. Dont wait until children reach a unkwon line for them, set the limits first. Dont let them control your emotions, stay calm and serious.

When they are really reluctant to obey I take their hand and lead them to the place where they have to do something (wash teeth, do homework, eat meal, dress up) and say"do it" and I dont move until they obey, and it works.

writing prodigy

I am for spnaking when it is required. Spare the rod and spoil the child. It is more true in case of boys since they need to treated more firmly than females. It must be selective though and taken as last resort.


I am for spanking too actually. I find it okay to harm children as a form of disciplinary method. However, never should it come to a point where they will be punched/kicked or anything that's out of the ordinary spanking.


I think Tim brings up a good point.  If you decide to spank as a form of discipline, it should only be done when you've had time to cool down.  I think it is easy to get carried away when emotions are running on high.  Most parents never intend to get carried away or hurt their children, but it does happen, and its more likely to happen when one's emotions are running high.

I don't have children myself, but I believe I'd try other forms of discipline, such as time out or restricting privileges.  


I agree with you that discipline can be different with different parents. Most parents discipline their children the way they were disciplined when they were young. However, when we understand that there is a proper way of disciplining children, then we should be humble and try to accept the change rather than doing the discipline that we were brought up with.